“Now put the lotion on the cat. It’s the most important step.”
“How many garbage bags do I have to punch to win it?”
“Don’t worry, honey, we still have the houseboat.”
“Where are you going?! It’s only an onion!”
“No no no, no no. If you squint your eyes, they find you in cereal.”
Do these sound like nonsense to you? That’s because you’re not clued in to the dream logic of the people who spoke them. Lots of people talk in their sleep (nerd name: somniloquy), and this classic Reddit thread elicited some of the funniest, weirdest and most intense monologes (and dialogues) reported by nearby awake people.
Are you one of the millions who somniloquize? If so, what kind of reviews does your talk show get? Have people said you’re puzzling, or scary, or hysterical? We’re dying to know! Hit us up on Twitter or Facebook @MarpacUSA with your best #SleepTalkers.